The maid of honor just puked.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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