alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
