Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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