walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I could fuck to npr.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
