What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
