Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
