is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
