that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
