You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize