before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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