I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
