fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
how does that bad decision feel?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
