i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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