Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
