just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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