you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
