guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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