why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
