I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think I am morally bankrupt
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
