sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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