3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
