I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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