i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
