This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
