she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
no you cant smoke seaweed
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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