I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
