i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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