i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
