Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
