do herpes really smell.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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