But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
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It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
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My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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