the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
