i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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