You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
