your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?