Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened

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(734): i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened http://tfl.nu/eey2

Replies (4) Good night (851) Bad night (546)
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(850): View more from Florida

It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking

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(850): It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking http://tfl.nu/828r

Replies (27) Good night (1048) Bad night (2626)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.

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(757): Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed. http://tfl.nu/t0jo

Replies (13) Good night (3618) Bad night (606)
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(650): View more from California

im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.

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(650): im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for. http://tfl.nu/gyhj

Replies (13) Good night (4282) Bad night (751)
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(443): View more from Maryland

dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.

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(443): dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though. http://tfl.nu/36m5

Replies (27) Good night (6657) Bad night (1044)
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(239): View more from Florida

Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?

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(239): Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning? http://tfl.nu/tqik

Replies (11) Good night (4146) Bad night (756)
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(208): View more from Idaho

How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?

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(208): How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles? http://tfl.nu/g9w4

Replies (30) Good night (3745) Bad night (1504)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.

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(720): Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him. http://tfl.nu/sxwx

Replies (8) Good night (1004) Bad night (3294)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him

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(412): I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him http://tfl.nu/tu5w

Replies (4) Good night (936) Bad night (1880)
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(208): View more from Idaho

the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes

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(208): the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes http://tfl.nu/a563

Replies (18) Good night (3395) Bad night (1531)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.

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(570): Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas. http://tfl.nu/sn85

Replies (5) Good night (2051) Bad night (489)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.

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(317): Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship. http://tfl.nu/wcss

Replies (8) Good night (1973) Bad night (1039)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.

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(734): Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had. http://tfl.nu/a9pp

Replies (7) Good night (634) Bad night (1048)
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(906): View more from Michigan

Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.

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(906): Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die. http://tfl.nu/zxmz

Replies (7) Good night (2428) Bad night (390)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?

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(931): it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work? http://tfl.nu/q0sm

Replies (7) Good night (422) Bad night (190)

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