Got a toothbrush?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...