those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face