Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.

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(610): Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it. http://tfl.nu/867y

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(514): View more from Quebec

i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"

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(514): i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon" http://tfl.nu/hj7f

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(914): View more from New York

is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?

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(914): is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville? http://tfl.nu/0twm

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(307): View more from Wyoming

you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood

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(307): you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood http://tfl.nu/ts9e

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(310): View more from California

He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit

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(310): He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit http://tfl.nu/vjau

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(615): View more from Tennessee

At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...

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(615): At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board... http://tfl.nu/p8y8

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet

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(763): Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet http://tfl.nu/ppas

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(540): View more from Virginia

I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening

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(540): I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening http://tfl.nu/76la

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(773): View more from Illinois

NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.

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(773): NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU. http://tfl.nu/h1az

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(509): View more from Washington

I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?

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(509): I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad? http://tfl.nu/r4ig

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(517): View more from Michigan

I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle

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(517): I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle http://tfl.nu/r9wf

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?

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(603): Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message? http://tfl.nu/3a2d

Replies (3) Good night (1225) Bad night (399)
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(850): View more from Florida

So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?

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(850): So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant? http://tfl.nu/queo

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement

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(717): He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement http://tfl.nu/fn4j

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...

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(202): I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him... http://tfl.nu/dz07

Replies (7) Good night (776) Bad night (301)

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