i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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