So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
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You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
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So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.