I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
