I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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