Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
