Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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