the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
