But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
