that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
