no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
