my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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