Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
