Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
