Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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