Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
