the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
