I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i think i just naturally attract stoners
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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