I wish life had little blips of pornography
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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