He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
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He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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