I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
