so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
