im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm sobbing to NWA
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
