i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
