Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
