yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i drank out of a bidet.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
