hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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