I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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