Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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