Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
