I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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