Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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