i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
worst night to have a conscience
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
