I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
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I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
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The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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